Thursday, February 20, 2020

2020

It is going by way too fast.  Thomas is 15.  Sammy is 13.  High School and Middle School.  Damn.  I was so tired and so overwhelmed when they were little.  Now, I'm mom who harps on them to do their chores while they would rather be playing video games or watching videos about the newest way to dance, put on make up or just laugh.  I get it, but I really miss them.  I miss then needing me.  I miss them wanting to laugh with me.  Sometimes, dare I say it, I miss them wanting to be in the bathroom with me.  Well....

We have great kids.  Can they step up their game? Sure.  But, we all can.  I certainly can.  I'm inpatient.  I am scared and frustrated with myself.  Am I teaching them enough?  Am I providing them with the tools and the resources they need to be good people?  I pray I am.  I know they love us and I know they love each other. And, I think they at the very least like themselves.  It's a good foundation.  I pray they have enough.  Enough of me and Tom and enough of themselves.  An abundance of God and an abundance of peace.

Every time I get overwhelmed I try to remind myself to breathe. That one second stops everything and gives me a bit of peace and helps me take a snapshot of right now.   I need to remember that more often then just when I am overwhelmed.